Day of Waiting 324

Ok....so 324 has no significant meaning...except for that it is a lot of days!! And in exactly 41 more days, will be our one year anniversary of waiting. Hopefully that will be the first and last annual anniversary we will have!

My worker has been very diligently searching for kids lately which has been so great. She also mentioned this morning that our profile had been critiqued recently and the feedback wasn't so great. After hearing what was said and reading it again, they were very right. It definitely was emphasing our need to be matched with a child, rather than the child's need to be matched with us. It also stated that I said "a happy environment produces happy children", which I did, but I meant more along the lines of, if the parents love eachother and treat eachother kindly, that rubs off on the children and usually they end up treating their spouses the same. Not always, I know, but I definitely do not want to give the impression to anyone that I believe I can love a childs problems away, because I know that is not realisitic. You can't love away brain damage from FAS or love away horrible memories of abuse and neglect. Those are things that will exist no matter what you do. So I can definitely see where they were coming from and feel much better now that we changed the wording of it.

It's hard though, trying to make yourself seem so wonderful so they pick you. On one hand you don't want them to think you live in this fairytale world, yet on the other you don't want to share all the gruesome details of all the horrible things you lived through and have them think you're a wacko! Thankfully we're right in the middle. Steve and I have had our share of ups and downs in life - thankfully nothing too traumitizing ;) (although, there was that one time when my mom cut my bangs...haha) But, with the support and love of our family and friends have made it through and became the stronger people we are today. I'm at a place in life right know where I can and want to share all the things I've been blessed with and welcome a child into our home, support her and help her grow up. I hope that is something they can feel when they read my profile. I know this will change our lives forever and that we'll have plenty of bumps along the way - but we're definitely up for the challenge :)